would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
and she was petting her beer can
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
