I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize