It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize