I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
