Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
