I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
