I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
