I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
