I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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