i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
