i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
