He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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