How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
