Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I touched a dick in church today
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
