Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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