If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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