these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
