she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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