margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Please, let me fuck your mom
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
