I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize