At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
