i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
