I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
