Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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