she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize