I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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