the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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