operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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