he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
