Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
