yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
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