I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
