Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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