ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
