he thought i was a dude.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We had sex on a dog bed..
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
