i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
