Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Randomize
