Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize