How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
