I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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