ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
