im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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