lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
