you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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