is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
