I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
