That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
