The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
