I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
