Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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