you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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