I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We smell like vodka and hangover
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