Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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