Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
