just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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