Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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