I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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