hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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