Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
either way he was missing a nipple.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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